Disillusioned?

What a gorgeous day it is out (Sunday)...I have been hoeing away for quite awhile, hoping to have an acceptable home for some veg. this summer. The great thing about doing work like that is the fresh warm air and sunshine, and the time to think. The blisters and sore back not so much...but it's a worthwhile trade, I think. :)

Part A
I have been thinking about disillusionment, since Scott spoke on it this morning. Being disillusioned really sucks. Because it's not just a matter of bursting your unrealistic bubble and carrying on. It'a a real drag because the reason we have illusions or idealistic visions of things in the first place is because we have needs and desires, and we were really hoping that they would be met in our illusion. So now that our bubble has been burst, there they are...out there...unmet...what to do...
And I wonder - were my needs/desires unrealistic too? And that line of thinking just hurts, because we need what we need, and we want what we want. Those are who we are, and to think that part of ourselves is illegit is tough cookies. And wrong thinking.
The problem with our illusions isn't the need or desire that pointed us there, it's that we had hoped that our needs/desires would be met and satisfied somewhere they could not be. So when the bubble bursts, it isn't the need that was the problem, it's that we now realize that it won't be met there. And that is disappointing and very concerning to us.
When we realize that we are disillusioned, we are often pretty hard on ourselves; that we believed in the illusion in the first place. And often we are pretty mad at whoever we thought should execute our illusion, because they failed to do so. But we shouldn't be upset with ourselves about our needs/desires. They are what they are, and they are a part of all of us. They are legit. And we shouldn't be mad at someone else, since probably we were asking too much of them - hence - it was an illusion. What we need to do is regroup and take another look at what we should do with those needs and desires that is healthy and true. And that part of this conversation is best taken up with Jesus.

Part B
(I told you I was out there for a long time...you can come back later, I won't be offended)
'Say there was an organization, full of wonderful people, fully committed to a common goal, multi-talented and gifted. After a number of years in existence, with the commitment and efforts from all remaining strong, and efforts to learn and grow sustained over the years, this organization still falls short of one of it's main goals and values. What would you say the problem might be?'
Maybe, you say, 'sour leadership'.
And I reply, 'nope, good guess, but they have had humble, serving, committed leaders who have been dedicated to do their best and see this organization be successful. They aren't perfect, but the effort and good attitude has been there. Try again'.
You say, 'they must be missing a skill set essential to the implementing their goal'.
'Okay', I say, 'maybe'. They have wondered that too, and have searched far and wide for what might be missing; in fact some of them have burnt-out looking for it.'
'Wait', you say, 'Then would wonder if their goal was realistic for their organization?'
'Hmmm'.
I say. 'Good point. Let me think about that.'

Part C (by now my back is hurting, and I have to stop hoeing and rake for awhile...it's looking good though!)
One of the big pains in our CV family is the issue of community. Pain for those who believe in it strongly and try their guts out to create it, and feel that they have fallen short, exhausted and, you guessed it, disillusioned. And pain for those who need it and look for it and hope for it here, and don't find it enough, or at all, or in a way that meets their need. Disillusioned. So I am thinking and wondering...and please join me if you have something to add, because this is in no way a finished thought process...is our goal and picture of community realistic?

Here are a few of my thoughts on that. (longest post ever, I know.)
I know that Christians can be very hard on themselves with what they think they should be and do. And I know that our desire to follow Jesus can be very strong, since we are responding to incredible love and forgiveness, and in that intensity we can end up trying very very hard to please God. And this can cause us to try and be all that Jesus models for us in our own strength and with our own effort and commitment. And I know that it can't be done, because Jesus says we need to die to ourselves, and let him do it in us. So that's one illusion.

I also know that this 'hard on ourselves' attitude leaks out to us being very hard on each other in a Christian community. I can't tell you how many times I have heard, and yes, thought myself, 'she should know better, because she's a Christian.' Which is translated as 'she should be perfect, dammit! How dare she hurt me like that!' Illusion also.

I also know that many people think that friendships just happen for wonderful people, kind of like good kids are given to most parents, but the kids I got are not good. Ever watch Supernanny? Parents of 'out-of-control' kids call up Supernanny and ask her to come and fix their kids, because they want a happy family, not this chaos they are living in. And in rides Supernanny, and surprise surprise, she tells the parents everything they are doing wrong, and loves up on the kids. Turns out (every time) that it wasn't the kids at all, it was the parents. 'Good' kids don't just happen, they are the product of effective, committed parents. The same goes for friends. Good friends don't just happen to good people. Good friends happen when people put in time and effort and commitment into building those friendships. Another illusion.

What does it mean to love each other? I think we most often think it means marriage, or parents and kids, or best friends. And it does. But is it realistic to think that everyone we are in church community with will be connected to us like that? Of course not. But I wonder if we really know that, when we are in crisis and people don't call us up and invite us out for coffee, like a good friend would. So no, you say, of course I don't expect that from the whole church, but I do expect it from a few. Okay, that's realistic, I say. If you have put in time and effort and commitment into those relationships, it is realistic that those friendships would continue when you are in crisis. I don't think that is an illusion, and it's also realistic that there are times when our friends can't do coffee, and we all know that and don't freak out about it, so that's still realistic.

But what about when you don't have those close friends built up to be there for you when you are in crisis, or just to walk with you, no matter how you are doing? What is the church community supposed to do for you then? And there's the rub. (Time for a sit down and a glass of water.)

We are supposed to love each other. 'They'll know we are Christians by our love.' So back to 'What does it mean to love each other?' I Cor. 13. Sure, let's look at that. Hold on while I Biblegateway it.

1 Corinthians 13
Love
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

So what think ye? First part - love is the most important thing. So good goal, realistic so far. Note: giving my body up even to death and giving everything I have to the poor is not love, neither is the awesome-est faith-filled prayer ever, or a very cool prophecy for you. interesting. illusion too, maybe.
Second part - everything to do with how we treat each other. No mention of time or coffee - it's not about what we do for each other, but about our attitude toward each other. (just thinking outloud here...)
Third part - hold up. Love never fails? I sure fail, all the #(*$&#^ time. Sorry. But so do you. So I, clearly, am not love, neither do I love all the time. that's an illusion for sure. back to biblegateway, hang on.

1 John 4:7-the end.
God's Love and Ours
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Wow. There is a lot there...I might have to go hoe some more.
Love comes from God, God is love. Love isn't how we treat each other, but how he treats us. What? say that again. Love isn't how we treat each other, but how he treats us. How does he treat us? Go back to 1 Cor. 13.

We can't love without him, or without knowing him. We can't know love without knowing him.

Part Thee
So...what does it mean to love each other in a church community? and what is a realistic goal for a community, and a realistic expectation from that community?

okay, so now my back hurts from sitting in front of the computer, so you are going to have to take it from here. if you have any flashes of brilliance, or another question maybe, or even just a small point to make...please do...

Shelley